Two-Sided Coin: Socializing

Ever since the long (Labor Day) weekend, I have been making a lot of effort to hang out with my friends. Considering, I am a homebody and can isolate (the majority of the time), this is excellent news.

As it stands, this behavior or choice of lifestyle has caused me to become highly distracted and agitated when I am not out having fun or experiencing play time. I have little reason to think about anything else, according to my logic. My heart, though, begs to differ.

Interestingly enough, I grew up as one of the most awkward teenagers. I barely understood specific social ques, merely because I was used to not putting myself "out there" and feared being vulnerable or taking any risks. I believe, that lack of exposure led me evermore closer to a social phobia.

Heads: Socializing as a strength

Now, I thrive off social situations; no matter how timid I come off. New situations are a challenge, and that is exactly why I find them stimulating. When you feel bored, that is precisely when your brain realizes you need to shift gears. If not, you may become complacent, or worse, a "Deb."

As luck would have it, no one finds it fun to be around these "downers" (as I once was) because they are, well... draining to be around. That's the power of Qi (aka a person's lifeforce or energy)! Some people refer to these "Debs" as "takers," as opposed to "givers."

Note: In most cases, a "Deb" (consciously or not) chooses to be as such. That is why it can be almost impossible to "make them" change. In some way, it fulfills a need for the individual.

Tails: Socializing as a weakness

The downside of socializing (to me), is the fact that my brain finds it so much of a stimulant, that it becomes hard to turn off. Let's face it, I'm at my office trying to do work, yet I have barely budged. Here I am typing a blog post for goodness sakes! Whether or not I get caught, is not the problem. Choosing this over work, is...

Heads vs. Tails

Given my history, I'd say I'm better off socializing. You may disagree, though. Jot down your comments, on why you think a social life is good, bad, neither, or either. Constructive feedback is also welcome.

– Red Kay

5 Tips On How To Fight Phone Phobia

Friday afternoon, I set a goal for myself to call one of the three screen printers today. Although, I was wary of setting that as a goal in the first place, I was able to call.

If you have the same problem as I do, with contacting others by phone, there are a few things that do help make the process a bit easier. I recommend the following tips to help counteract your anxiousness:

1. Keep a list of what points you want to make.
   The list needs to be easy to follow. Try adding all points to one page, while still keeping them concise and legible.
2. Lower the number of distractions and heighten your sense of security.
   For example: I needed to close the door (to my office) enough so that I don't feel added pressure of others listening-in.
3. Support without the criticism.
   It's important to be compassionate to yourself. Don't go punishing yourself if it takes you longer to "gather courage." I actually took a couple hours to prepare. If you don't seem to budge, take on the "I'll do it when I want to" attitude. This takes off internal pressures off your shoulders.
4. Have a purpose.
   The best way to figure out why you "should" call, is to write down a sentence of why you want to call, or how it will benefit you. This will help give yourself some incentives to proceed.
5. Opening the conversation.
   If you have completed the previous tips, they will help you with figuring out what to say. I find that preparing a couple sentences to explain my reason for calling, helps. After that, your natural instincts to carry a conversation will kick in, and you might not even need your list of points.

Hopefully, these 5 tips on how to fight phone phobia useful to you. Let me know what works for you by posting a comment. Maybe you need only a couple strategies, either way, you are taking action to move forward! For that, you've earned a pat on the back! *virtual back-pat*

Challenging Fear by Asking Questions

Today, after seeking counsel, I was asked:

"So there is resistance with making the telephone calls. Why do you believe this is happening?"

I tried to provide a logical answer; fear of the unknown, fear of embarrassment, and fear of failure. As I was typing out this reply, bottled feelings began to surface.

"No one has as much power over me, as my brother does; especially after my own tendency to put him on a pedestal. I'd say he's the only person whom I feel will not accept me as is. There is a strong sense of judgement, that comes from how he speaks to me. I didn't realize this until now…"

I am no longer so surprised that I was scared. Theoretically, anything I do will be criticized, regardless of whether it is right, wrong, ethical, or not.

Let me pose another question: why do I put my brother in such high regard? More importantly, how can I change the amount of power I give his ego?

Habitual Over-Thinking

Lately, I have found myself over-analyzing just about everything. "It" has made its presence known particularly as I try to develop my own business ideas. Regardless of why I do it, I believe the more important question is, what can I do to correct the bad habit, and increase life satisfaction.

I've been working on a project that requires me to call a few local businesses for quotations and estimated costs. (Now, let me just say, I avoid making phone calls—just as you would avoid the plague. Okay, I am exaggerating. Here's a more accurate dilemma: I will only call my closest friends if I can't find a way to explain myself through text messaging.)

Part of being an entrepreneur, is living as "a person who is willing to help launch a new venture or enterprise and accept full responsibility for the outcome." (Wikipedia, 2012, para.1). I want to point out the fact that success is not a factor, here. I even believe that the product/service idea being new, has nothing to do with being an innovator. Rather, how you present the idea, is what makes a difference. Notice how businesses always have some direct or indirect competitors. Whether they know about these competitors is a different story.

Returning to the initial purpose of this post; I want to correct or at least cope with my fear. Avoidance postpones the inevitable. Why should I spend all that extra time on worrying about what to say? Relax and it will come to me when I am in that moment. Maybe my problem has nothing to do with "getting fixed," but perhaps my problem lies with leaving my past behind and learning to create a new future of possibilities—ones that don't stem from the premise of fear and expectations.

So, am I ready to leave my past feelings of embarrassment behind? We shall see!

Preface

Hey there; the name's Red Kay!

I am an aspiring artist, amateur musician, milk tea junkie and entrepreneur. I want to share my learning experiences, through the use of this personal blog.

Without setting things in stone, Keep Up // Keep Casual will focus on all things related to how I will eventually define my own personal success.

I'll admit that part of reaching out like this, comes from a yearn to connect with people on an intellectual level. I want to make connections with people of similar values, that generally reside in the same country (Canada).

Let me clarify that this is not meant to be a personal ad (even if it sounds like one).